I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
