can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
