So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
