Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
a search helicopter?!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
