I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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