Sry I called you an 8
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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