I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
