we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
FUCK WHALES
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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