you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
