I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize