a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
