stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
