Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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