If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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