He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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