Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
