she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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