i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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