Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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