just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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