I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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