This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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