just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize