I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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