We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
