There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
