i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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