If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
