Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
