This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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