i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
