Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
