no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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