i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
