I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
