ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
