i permit you to call me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
