Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
