you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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