I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
