i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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