Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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