two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
