She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he's gonorrhea incarnate
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
