He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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