Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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