You just made me feel so damn special
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
