It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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