I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
