he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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