maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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