everyone is single if you try hard enough
she looked like the before picture.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
