Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
