:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
