Where is the hickey?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
