If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
