About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
