Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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