No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize