What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
