I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
look no pants
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize