"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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