His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
