very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
