so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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