No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
