last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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