do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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